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Maintaining The Romance While Raising A Newborn 22 July 2019

The transition from a newly-wed couple to parents can be tough. Once the baby comes, all the chores double and everyone has to do their share of work in order to keep up. Between all the dirty laundry and dishes, toys everywhere, sleepless nights and constant crying it is difficult to make time for romance. However, this is something you need to make time for since the base for raising happy children is a happy marriage. Although it seems impossible, there are some steps to keeping the romance alive after the baby is born.

  • Schedule a regular date night
In order to keep the marriage romance alive after kids, scheduling a regular date night might be a good start. Because let’s face it, your already hectic lives became even more chaotic and busier with a baby, so you feel helpless and probably in no mood for romance. So organising a night just for you might set you in the mood. You can make it a weekly or a monthly arrangement. Book a sitter for the night and head to your favourite restaurant or have a romantic candle-lit dinner at home – whatever you are in the mood for. This is a perfect time for you to share your thoughts, feelings and funny work anecdotes. Just remember, the baby as a conversation topic is off the list!

  • Give each other time out
Being a parent is sometimes overwhelming and you feel like you can’t keep up. And if you can’t pull yourself together, you obviously can’t work on your romantic relationship. This is one of the marriage issues we face after the baby comes. So, what do you do? Everyone has bad days. When you see that your partner is having a really rough day and that he or she desperately needs some time off, take the baby for the afternoon and let your partner relax. He or she can relax by hanging out with friends, going to the gym, doing yoga or simply by taking a much-needed nap. When the time comes that you need a break, he or she will gladly return the favour. That’s the plus side of parenting, being a team.

  • Be affectionate to each other
Think back to the beginning phases of your love, when you called each other just to see what’s up, when you had cute nicknames for each other and when you showed each other your affections every day by doing those little love things. Why not do that now? When the baby comes, this doesn’t and shouldn’t stop. Sure, it is challenging, but it is still manageable. Leave cute little love notes in each other’s coat pockets or in some obvious places you know your partner will look. You can also make a romantic gesture by buying gifts for her or for him. It can be something simple such as flowers, chocolate or maybe perfume. It will definitely make your partners day better.

  • Self-care is important
The question of how to keep your relationship strong when you have kids is the one perplexing many new parents out there. First of all, to be able to maintain a functional love relationship, you need to take care of yourself. When you have that figured out, you’ll be able to work on bonding and strengthening your relationship. It is essential to make time in your busy schedule for ’you time.’ Look at this is a necessity and not a caprice. Your partner should, of course, have the same privilege. Use this time for a hobby, something that you enjoy. It should be just about you. For some people is art, for some photography, while for some it’s music or cycling.

  • Bring back the PDA
There’s nothing wrong with a little PDA in front of the kids. In fact, it is even good for them to be able to see their parents in love. It serves as a positive model for a strong happy marriage. Sneak in some extra kisses, hold hands and cuddle whenever possible, just like you used to when you first fell in love. We understand that keeping the romance alive once baby arrives is certainly not an easy task with a baby in your hands and a toddler crawling all over you, but you somehow still have to find a way to be close to each other. It is what keeps the spark in your marriage.

  • Learn how to transition from ‘mom mode’ to ‘wife mode’
After a long day of crying and dirty diapers, transitioning from mom to wife sure is a challenge. When you’re exhausted, messy and covered in spit-up, no way you’ll be able to embrace the role of the wife. What you need to do is to take a break after kids’ bedtime. Take a long, relaxing bubble bath and wash away all the stress. Put on your lotion, comb your hair and jump into your sexy nightgown. Now, you can cuddle up next to your hubby and watch your favourite movie or a TV show. After that, a little romance is bound to happen!

  • Stop keeping score
One of the things many couples in marriage (especially after kids) fight about is who did what and does a bigger share of the work. Obviously, you need to stop keeping score and start acting as a team, which you are. Make a deal with how you will divide the upcoming week’s chores and stick to it. Don’t compare yourself and don’t complain, it will get you nowhere. Instead, complement each other’s work and be supportive, because being a mum isn’t an easy task and neither is being a dad. Keep in mind that fact that if one of you loses, you both lose.

Being a parent is the happiest, most fulfilling and satisfying period in our lives. Once we make some adjustments and get used to having at least one more person to look after besides us, our lives become easier.