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How often do your children see their grandparents?

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#26 ImperatorFuriosa

Posted 15 June 2019 - 12:52 PM

Never. My mum and my DP mum have passed away. My dad is an abusive, manipulative, narcissistic alcoholic who will never meet my kids. As for DP dad, he just...isn't...interested. *shrug

#27 MsLaurie

Posted 15 June 2019 - 01:04 PM

My parents probably about every 10 days or so? Feels like a long time if we haven’t seen them for a fortnight. They’re about 20 minutes away.
My in-laws are a little less frequent, probably every 3 weeks? They’re about 45 minutes away.
With both sets it’s a mix of dinners, them taking Miss4 out for adventures, and just coffee catch ups. It’s lovely that they’re around and helpful and adore the kids.

#28 Jingleflea

Posted 15 June 2019 - 01:17 PM

Sadly,not enough.

My parents are 10 minutes away and we've not seen them in 3 years.

My inlaws we see maybe every 2 or 3 months but they see their DD's kids every week, and feed them dinner once a week at least. We've never been invited over for a weekly dinner.

I grew up with VERY intrusive grandparents and mum hated it, she swore she'd never do the same to us..so now she just never calls or visits.
Apparently there's no happy medium.

#29 Sancti-claws

Posted 15 June 2019 - 01:28 PM

My parents - 2 hours away - every other month?  And I talk to them at least once a week.

My MIL - lives on the other side of the world, so twice in DDs life - although we are making a goal to try and get there for her 75th next year.  Should talk to her more often, but it consider that DH's territory and he's not always willing in the morning and that is the only time frame that works.

My FIL - also the other side of the world - I have never met.  He does call a few times a week (night owl and good phone plan) and I let DH answer because he is always on for a chat and I am often not up for the crazy ride that that can be.

#30 WaitForMe

Posted 15 June 2019 - 01:33 PM

A few times a year. They all live interstate.

I think its sad, I grew up with one set of grandparents in the same suburb. We would go there for dinner once a week, and drop ins for other things often.

#31 countrychic29

Posted 15 June 2019 - 01:43 PM

My parents are 45mins away - my mum has my youngest one day a week and also does school pick up that day as well so at least once a week , dad takes my eldest to her activity one night a week as well - plus we incidentally see them - often have sleepovers in school holidays etc

My InLaws are 25mins away and we see them every 3 weeks on average. They have never ever looked after the children not even for 5 mins (their choice)

As a child I often spent school holidays with either set of grandparents and felt very lucky to, I only have one left and still see her every month or so, she is very active and often drives out (40mins) to see us and the great grand children

#32 lizzzard

Posted 15 June 2019 - 02:07 PM

As the kids have gotten older they don't see the every week (they used to pick them up from school one day a week but don't do that anymore). However they usually take them for a week each school holidays.

I'd say I'm very close to my mum...probably bordering on needing more boundaries :lol: I ring her most days, sometimes multiple times a day if I'm really stressed and need to vent about something. She is a fantastic listener, and always tells me what I want to hear :p

#33 onetrick

Posted 15 June 2019 - 02:15 PM

We have the only grandkid on DHs side so we see MIL frequently. She babysits one day a week while we work, and DH speaks to her most days. I find it intense, but not my relationship. DH takes DS to visit his own grandparents (so DS' great grandmas) every couple of weeks on his days off. They are both in their 90s.
My mum sees DS less frequently, but stays longer (at least a few hours and can be overnight).
I like having close relationships with family and would love to do a weekly/ fortnightly thing eventually... but not yet. We are still learning to be a family of 3 and what that involves.

#34 Octopodes

Posted 15 June 2019 - 02:15 PM

We see MIL maybe 6-8 times a year. She lives a 90 minute drive away, she mostly comes to us. I would hate to have to see anyone as frequently as what your parents want.

#35 smmaho

Posted 15 June 2019 - 02:29 PM

MIL looks after my toddler once a week as done my mum. So they see them at least once a week. My mum sometimes more because if she's in the area she will drop in and she is our go to babysitter when we go out. It works well for us and I'm happy to have them around and am very grateful for their help.

#36 Mae55

Posted 15 June 2019 - 02:33 PM

Both sets of grandparents live within a 5 minute drive. We’d see my in-laws once a week on average. Probably a bit more than that. Often they just see the kids or my husband as I’m at work. They looked after the boys a lot when they were little and like to see them regularly still.

My parents a little less often as my mum still works full time and if she’s on holidays they’re off traveling. Might work out to be once a fortnight now.

My parents would see my brother and his family once every couple of months because he lives interstate but I think they chat more regularly on the phone.

#37 amaza

Posted 15 June 2019 - 03:13 PM

My IL's, never.

My parents, who we have a good relationship with see our kids at different amounts. The older ones see them maybe once every few months or when my parents ask to come and visit them. My dad looks after DS3 (not at school) 3 afternoons a fortnight and mum looks after him 1 day a fortnight. They see DD maybe once a month on average.

I am not surprised you are feeling suffocated. When do you get family only time? Or time to shop, clean or take kids to the park for some one on one time?

#38 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 15 June 2019 - 03:21 PM

My parents are 10 minutes away, and we have morning tea at their place every Sunday, usually leaving DH at home (he likes my parents, but isn’t a fan of sitting around and chatting when there is stuff gone done). My mum comes over after school about once a fortnight, I would be happy with twice a week! She came over most afternoons when DS was a baby, it was brilliant.

DH’s parents are on the other side of the country, so once or twice a year.

#39 rosie28

Posted 15 June 2019 - 03:28 PM

DD spends a day a week with my mum and we see mum and dad for dinner that night so DS sees them too. Then maybe one more time over the weekend. The kids both spend one afternoon a week with my MIL and FIL.

DD spends a day a week with my mum and we see mum and dad for dinner that night so DS sees them too. Then maybe one more time over the weekend. The kids both spend one afternoon a week with my MIL and FIL.

#40 Mum of a miracle

Posted 15 June 2019 - 03:39 PM

My in-laws about once a month for an entire weekend my parents from November til April most weekends but til April til November (give and take a nonth or two) don't see them at all and tbh I feel awful that I hate it as they are retired so travel but they miss so much including my son's birthday their only grandchild and I don't like that I don't have my own parents to turn to for help and support  and as mt son has a life threatening condition *in and out of hospital a hell of a lot) he could be gone tomorrow and they've seen f all of his life and celebrations and hardships just really breaks my heart as when I was growing up my grandparents were a big impact in my life saw them both once a week some times twice and birthdays Christmas Easter mothers day father day were all celebrated but don't have that and really gets me down.

Sorry for the sob story so my son sees them a bit I guess.

#41 Mooples

Posted 15 June 2019 - 03:59 PM

Several times a week for my parents. They look after them twice a week while I’m at work then another once or twice in the week with me.

Mil about once a month (her choice not ours) and fil once or twice a year (again his choice not ours).

I grew up interstate to my grandparents so I love my kids have such a special bond with theirs.

#42 SeaPrincess

Posted 15 June 2019 - 04:13 PM

Once or twice a week for my parents, but they might not see all the children, e.g. I dropped round last weekend with just DD. They live about 10 minutes away and we often drop in unannounced if we’re passing, but they call first. I speak to them most days.

MIL lives 2 hours away, and will usually come once a month and stays from 1-3 nights depending on what’s going on. She calls at least once a week.

#43 PrincessPeach

Posted 15 June 2019 - 04:19 PM

Now that my eldest is in school, we only get to see my parents during school holidays - they are about 1 1/2 hours away.

DH's parents live 10 minutes away & we'd see them every week or so. Occasionally more often if we have work functions as they babysit the kids.

We each talk to our respective parents every couple of days or so, but we are a chatty bunch.

#44 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 15 June 2019 - 04:33 PM

My Mother - at least 5 times a week.  
My Father - maybe once a month.

Mother in Law/Step FIL - 4-6 times a year.

#45 babybug15

Posted 15 June 2019 - 04:34 PM

We live interstate so only a few times a year (usually we do 1-2 trips and they do one). We split time staying between each set of parents.

My niece is about 45mins from my parents and they look after her once a week. My sibilings used to pop over to my parents for dinner once a week, but apprently this happens less often now.

My in-laws don't have grandchildren in their city (actually DS is their only one). But they have basically adopted kids in the street as surrogate grandkids, so they seem them all the time.

Honestly, each family has a different dynamic, so what is "normal" or "comfortable" is really up to you.

#46 **Xena**

Posted 15 June 2019 - 04:42 PM

For my parents it's briefly once or twice a week (my eldest works at their shop every Saturday). Proper catch up is once every month or two. I talk to my Mum on the phone a few times a week.

DHs stepdad hardly ever. They are lovely, his family just aren't the catching up type :lol:

My grandparents they see about 4 times a year. They travel a bit though now that they are retired :)

No one inserts themselves though. Whilst I see/talk to Mum fairly often, we mutually want to catch up. I'm really close with my family. I couldn't stand being expected to see people often and for an indefinite amount of time though. Even my own family who I adore. I need alone time and down time.

Edited by **Xena**, 15 June 2019 - 06:35 PM.

#47 Backtoschoolchef

Posted 15 June 2019 - 05:25 PM

We get on well with both sides and see them often (a couple of times a week at least). Also sometimes go camping with the inlaws (my parents have been invited but its not their thing).

I do occasionally find they get on my nerves when camping for a week so I will just go have some alone time. Im sure Im getting on their nerves too at that point!

#48 spr_maiden

Posted 15 June 2019 - 06:04 PM

Before mum died,  we'd see her weekly, sometimes for the whole week, sometimes several times,  usually a couple of times. If we didn't,  it's because one of us was on holiday or sick or mum was visiting one of the numerous other of her children/grandchildren. She lived 1hr drive away. My dad we see anywhere between once to 4x a year,  depends on family functions. He lives in the bush about 6-7hours drive away.

ILs. DH's bio dad maybe 2-3x a year, and lives 1hr drive away.
MIL and FIL, we used to see on family birthdays and Christmas, plus other short visits we made to them. In the last few years,  contact has really died off. FIL has seen the kids maybe twice in 2 years, with the last time together almost 18 months ago, maybe longer. MIL 3x in over 2 years, with one of those being mum's funeral. She hasn't seen them in over a year.. they live 20-30mins drive down the road. It's a bone of contention that they have barely spoken to or acknowledged their grandkids since they lost my mum,  arguably the other person in their lives they were as close to as DH and I. Contributing to this,  is that they have put way more time into seeing their other grandchildren.  It's just ours they make zero effort with.
So, **** them.

Edited by spr_maiden, 15 June 2019 - 06:05 PM.

#49 HRH Countrymel

Posted 15 June 2019 - 06:20 PM

In my childhood my paternal grandmother lived with us so every day!
I also had a great Aunt just up the road who I saw multiple times a week.
My maternal grandparents lived OS so I only saw them twice in my life.

My nephews on the other hand?  They see their paternal grandparents (now parent) every few months (lives 2 hours drive away).
Their maternal grandmother died when they were very small but they would see those grandparents every few months too (4 hours drive away).
My Dad (their maternal grandad) had been living in aged care for the last 7 years only 10 minutes walk away from them.  They would see him at least once a week.
He passed away on the first day of Winter this year and we all miss him unbelievably.  (including the 'cool' 15 year old who often would drop in on him on his way home from the bus and play his guitar for him..)

#50 Dianalynch

Posted 15 June 2019 - 06:30 PM

Countrymel I’m sorry about your Dad

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